What makes a good boss? (CNN opinion) ..

Bosses get a pretty bad rap. Where two or more employed people gather, you're sure to hear a story that involves the word "boss" and one of the following descriptors: "stupid," "dumb," "incompetent" or "clueless." Turn on the TV or go to the movies and bosses don't fare much better. They're either bumbling fools or conniving villains.

Bad bosses exist. We all know that. You can easily list all the qualities a bad boss possesses without having to think too much. But what makes a good boss? I'm not talking about the fanciful daydreams we have about a boss who wants to pay us seven figures for working one hour a day.

To find out, we asked employees about the best bosses they've had and what characteristics they hope to see in the people for whom they work.

Give and take
When freelance videographer Joe Vass describes the best boss he ever worked for, all of the qualities boil down to showing respect, a characteristic that many workers value regardless of what industry they're in.

"The best boss I ever had made me feel like a valued and important member of the team not through his words, but through his actions," Vass said. "He encouraged hard work, ingenuity and creativeness and valued everyone for who they were, and so we were inspired to work hard for ourselves and for him. He was always available for consultation and skilled at good, constructive criticism [and] suggestions."

As a result of this approachable and encouraging leadership, the team always recognized the boss as the leader and decision-maker. It was something the team thought he earned from them and didn't demand.

Debra Yergen, a director of marketing for a cardiac hospital, said she recognizes the value of giving to her employees and receiving something in return.

"As a member of the hospital's key management team, there are a lot of responsibilities I have that cannot be delegated," Yergen said. "But whatever I do assign to my staff, I make sure they see me do, too. I also make sure that when my staff works a really long shift one day and sometimes into the night they get rewarded with coming in late another day."

Were she to hand out orders that she herself couldn't do and provide no reward for the times when late hours cut into personal time, she might not have such a positive relationship with her employees.

Flexibility
Wayne Botha of Botha Consulting has learned the valuable of flexibility during his career working with IT project managers.

"The days of IT professionals working nine to five are gone. Project managers work flexible schedules in different time zones from around the world," Botha explains. "Good bosses focus on getting the job done, not on measuring the hours that a subordinate sits in the chair at the office."

The notion of a standard workday is fading for all professions, and life sure hasn't become more rigid. Personal obligations and family responsibilities make strict 9-to-5 work hours just as impossible. Flexibility matters to employees now more than ever.

Flexibility extends beyond handling schedules, though. It also applies to daily operations, reminds Daniel Mark Wheaton, the sales and operations manager for Canuka Web Solutions.

"A good boss is flexible about how things can be done. In being so, he or she opens the possibility of learning ways to do things better. [Of] equal importance is learning what not to do," Wheaton said.

"Flexibility in hiring is important, too. Qualifications and assets in a job posting should be guidelines. A boss should recognize that sometimes relevant work experience is more important than education background."

And so much more
What makes a good boss can't be distilled into one or two adjectives. As employees are eager to explain, good bosses encompass a broad range of qualities that make going to work enjoyable. According to workers, here are other ways bosses can be allies and not enemies:

• "Be consistent and predictable. It is hard for subordinates to make the boss look good when the boss behaves erratically and every situation seems to result in a unique decision." – Botha
• "They are able to get you to do something without using coercive tactics or bullying. They're able to frame the discussion in the same way a good basketball coach tells you what the best play will be." – Andrew Lee, co-founder and CEO of JamLegend.com
• "Promote from within. Develop your subordinates and then promote them when the opportunity arises. Subordinates will quickly understand your intentions when you always hire people from outside your organization for top positions." – Botha
• "A good boss will defend your actions (when they are defensible) and will help you when there is a problem." -- Deborah Graham
• "A good boss understands that every task given to you cannot be your No. 1, top priority and will work with you to readjust priority lists if necessary." – Graham
• "A good boss knows the overall value each employee brings to the organization, and keeps that in mind. So, a single transgression by an otherwise excellent employee doesn't demand the same response as the same transgression by an employee who consistently makes mistakes." – Bruce Campbell, vice president of marketing at Clare Computer Solutions
• "A good boss keeps you informed about what is happening at the higher management levels and what projects might be coming down the road." – Graham

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By Anthony Balderrama, CareerBuilder.com

15 Things Not to Say to Your Boss ..

“Think before you speak” is always a good policy, and in the workplace the maxim could be further refined to “think before you blurt out something to your boss that could hurt your career.” We checked in with some bosses, and came up with this list of 15 phrases bosses definitely don’t want to hear: 

1. “I’m only doing this job for the money.”
No boss wants to hear that your sole motivation for showing up is your paycheck. She may know that money is your motivation, and you may know she knows, but it’s still better left unsaid.

2. “I’m broke/in debt/one step away from bankruptcy.”
Your financial woes are not your boss’s concern. Period.

3. “I’m going to quit after I (fill in the blank).”
No matter how noble your future plans are -- you may be saving to start your own company or go to grad school, for example -- it’s usually best to keep those plans to yourself or to refer to them only vaguely. If your boss knows there is a definite end date to your employment, she may start to shop around for your replacement before you are ready to leave.

4. “I partied a little too hard last night.”
Buck up and get through the day with some ibuprofen, extra undereye concealer and coffee. But don’t share the sordid details of your night on the town with your boss. He’s just as likely to react with (unspoken) disdain as sympathy.

5. “It’s not my fault.”
Are you a whiny 8-year-old or a take-charge professional? Assume responsibility and take steps to fix a problem that you did, in fact, create. And if you are being wrongly blamed for a problem, saying “let’s get to the bottom of this” or “what can we do to make it right?” is much more effective than saying “it’s not my fault.”

6. “I’m bored/this job is boring.”
Didn’t your mother ever tell you that only boring people get bored? If you’re constantly twiddling your thumbs, ask for extra work and be as specific as you can. And if you’re busy but think your assigned tasks are less-than-stimulating, start strategizing about how you can get the job you want, either within your company or elsewhere.

7. “My job is too easy.”
Sure, you may think a monkey could do your job. But don’t give your boss any ideas -- your company could probably pay a monkey less than it pays you.

8. “I can’t work with so and so. I hate him.”
Involving your boss in personality conflicts should always be your last resort. So unless you are being threatened, scapegoated, encouraged to participate in unethical behavior, or your colleague or customer is engaged in other egregious workplace conduct, try to work it out between yourselves first.

9. “I can’t do that because of my other job.” In your boss’s mind, a second job is not a valid excuse for why you can’t stay late, work extra hours or finish a project on time. She may question your priorities, and rightly so.

10. “Oh my Gawd! How did you do this job before the Internet/text messaging/Skype?”
Although not a cardinal workplace sin, making your boss feel old will not score you any points.

11. Sigh. Grimace. Eye roll. Wretching noises.
Actions can speak louder than words. A poker face and silence are golden when you’re displeased with your boss.

12. “Do it yourself!”
No need for explanation. Just never say this. Ever.

13. “It’s always been done this way.”
You don’t want to gain a reputation as an inflexible dinosaur, so keep an open mind about how you do your work. And if you’re convinced that a new way of doing things is going to harm your company, present your case without using “because that’s the way we’ve always done it” to support your position.

14. “Let me set you up with...”
Avoid the urge to play matchmaker for your single boss. The potential benefit is far outweighed by the potential risk. For that matter, any socializing with your boss (even something as simple as friending him on Facebook) can cause you to share too much information, so consider limiting social interactions entirely.

15. “Sorry, I must have drifted off.” C’mon, wake up! If you’re caught with your eyes closed, feign deep concentration rather than admit you were dozing.

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By Megan Malugani

10 Ways to Manage Bad Bosses – according to CNN.com

Do you ever think your boss behaves like a child going through the "terrible twos," throwing tantrums or reverting to a little lost lamb when in over his or her head?

I call this regression "Terrible Office Tyrant" (TOT) behavior. TOTs can act like schoolyard bullies afraid to reveal the slightest incompetence, or like helpless children. They can be fickle, stubborn or needy or have irrational fears. And they can consume your workday, not to mention wreak havoc on productivity and profits.

A bad economy, workplace pressures and stress can trigger the many striking similarities between bad bosses and terrible tykes. We're all human, and behind a boss's professional facade is often a grown kid who can't handle his or her power.

When your boss slips into any of the 10 classic TOT behaviors, including the "bratty" type (overly demanding, stubborn, self-centered or tantrum-throwing) or the "little lost lamb" variety (fickle or overly fearful), you can use proven parental techniques and actually thrive in your job. By seeing the childlike motives behind a boss's (or co-worker's) actions, you can better manage even the most difficult situations.

Use C.A.L.M.
The top four tips to keeping your office from being a corporate playpen are best described by the acronym C.A.L.M.: communicate, anticipate, laugh and manage up:

1. Communicate
Communicate frequently, openly and honestly. Savvy TOT-tamers take the initiative to establish an open dialogue. At work, stay aligned with your boss's objectives rather than focusing on your pet projects, so that your work remains consistent with what's most critical to management.

By bravely opening the dialogue, you'll also avoid misunderstandings with co-workers; other factors may be contributing to an ignored e-mail or seemingly unfriendly response, such as a tight deadline or pressure from the boss.

2. Anticipate
Be alert for problems and prepared with solutions. Offer answers to emerging issues; don't add to the pile of problems if you want to avoid triggering bad behavior. Your boss wants to delegate as much as possible -- as long as you make the process worry-free. Know when to stay away if you expect a tantrum is coming down the hall.

3. Laugh
Use humor, or what I call "the great diffuser" of tension, to break down interpersonal logjams. Laughter helps create bonds and reminds us of our larger purpose: to work together with upbeat, constructive energy. We can and should be able to accomplish great things as a team at work, while having some fun. Take the initiative to do this and watch the seething subside.

4. Manage up
Let yourself shine by being a problem-solver and collaborator. You can be a beacon of positive energy for your boss, co-workers and team. Part of managing up also means setting limits to bad behavior. Oftentimes TOTs are unaware of the effect of their actions. You can influence these actions, and your skills will be transferable to any job.

Advanced TOT-taming tips
Here are some specifics on how to tame your TOT and humanize your workplace. Try these time-honored "parenting" techniques:

5. Don't fight fire with fire
If your TOT is tantrum- or bully-prone, mirroring his childish behavior is a downward spiral. Avoid the temptation to win the battle and lose the war. Instead, calmly and concisely tell your boss how his or her actions affected you. Keep a matter-of-fact tone and be factual. Use "I" statements rather than "you" to avoid an accusatory demeanor.

6. Use positive and negative reinforcement
When bosses set aside their worst TOT traits, respond with gratitude and comment on how it inspires you to do your best. Praising positive actions is a powerful way to foster better behavior. Over time, your boss will link the better management style with positive employee morale and results. Remember, if there's something in it for your boss, you can effect change.

7. Know your timing
Timing can be everything, with a child or an office tyrant. Learn the best times of day to approach your boss. Study his or her patterns, mood swings and hot buttons and plan your interactions accordingly. It can make the difference between a pleasant "yes" and an irrevocable "no!" If you anticipate problems with solutions, you become indispensable.

8. Be a role model
Project the highest ethical standards and radiate positive energy. Maintain a balanced demeanor and approach each crisis (real or imagined) with a rational style. Your boss often needs a sounding board and you can be a valued voice of reason and calm when issues emerge.

9. Package your information well
Some TOTs can be frustrating when they're inattentive or unavailable. It can seem like a form of corporate ADD, or as I call it, BADD (boss attention deficit disorder). BADD bosses can't focus on important tasks and allow e-mails, text messages, phones and people to interrupt their (and your) flow.

Make sure you understand your boss's ideal communication method, package your work in an appealing way and make your presentations engaging and interactive. Make it irresistible for your boss to find out about your projects.

10. Set boundaries
Let bosses know privately when they've gone over the line, but do so diplomatically. Keep the conversation focused on your work product. If your manager is intentionally malicious, that's another matter that requires more serious action. If, after repeated efforts for cooperation (such as with a bully boss and unsupportive management), you may be best off looking elsewhere. You have to determine how much strife you can handle.
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By Lynn Taylor